I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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