K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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