Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
