She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
