I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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