I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
