he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
