no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
