Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
