meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
