i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
