why didn't you poke me back
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
