Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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