I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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