The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
