I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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