Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
