remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm like, not good at living.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
