So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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