I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
