dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
