Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
