I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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