Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
