i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize