And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
