Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize