The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
