I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
