He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Houston, we have a squirter
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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