i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
