who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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