i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
