wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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