Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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