Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
