On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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