Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
