It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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