i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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