you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
