Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
