i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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