You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
