Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
