well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
