i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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