She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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