her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
