I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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